Well, I have been away for a while, but here is the newest fruit of my labours, slightly different from any previous stories you might have read of mine, though, as usual, relating to the relationship between Tenoh Haruka and her partner, Kaioh Michiru. As with all my fanfics, the characters are not my own, but the story is. WARNING: This is a lemon. If you don't know what that means, don't read the story. I'd rather not have to spell it out...adult content, all that...It's my first, so please be gentle...I will... Please send all comments, suggestions, questions, etc. to me at itavan@sophia.smith.edu If you've written me before, you know I respond, and that I love any feedback. (And the fan support, though how I picked up fans is still a little baffling to me...) Special thanks to JW and KB for the proofreading...but I didn't think there was an attack called "Mercury Cold Shower..." Enough talk. Here is the story. Enjoy! Kaze no Unmei (The Wind's Destiny) A SailormoonS lemon by Ilana Tavan My name is Tenoh Haruka. I am sixteen years old and was just accepted into Shirakaba High School, a school for the children of influential parents. I made it here on my own. My parents died when I was ten, leaving me with more than I could ever use or spend. I'm self- sufficient, and can handle anything or anyone. I wish I were the wind. The wind as it whips through my hair when I race my motorcycle, the wind buffeting my back as I run, the wind that tries to hold me back as I circle the track in my car. Any wind will do. I need to be the wind that can escape and be free. A wind that loses itself in the waves of the blue sea. I wish I were the wind. The wind is with me as I race a girl names Elza. She thinks she can beat me, but she doesn't have a chance. She's pretty, though, so I hold myself back and let her think she'll win. I surpass her easily. It was not a challanging meet. I've got to find something else to do, some other sport to take away the memories of the dream I have every night. Running used to be enough, but it's not anymore. For a while, racing my motorcycle was enough to keep the dreams at bay, but now I'm having them during the day as well. It's always the same dream, over and over. I am standing in a deserted Tokyo. Everything is red, as if covered in blood. The people are statues. A force comes as the wind, a tornado, destroying the statues, heading for me. How can the wind harm? I think as I try to dodge, but I cannot move. It is the end of the world, the end of me, the end of everything. A woman appears in front of me, dressed in a school-girl type uniform. She is glowing slightly with a green tint to match her uniform and hair. She looks dirrectly at me and speaks to my soul. "The Silence is approaching. We must find the Messiah soon. You and I are the only ones who can." I know her, and I feel her need for me. She is my partner, and we can save the world. We can stop Tokyo from becoming a nightmare. "Hey, Tenoh-san. You sure are fast. I've heard about you." I look up from packing my gym bag to see Elza walking over. She is still glowing from the race, sweat glittering on her forehead, her eyes bright. "I want you to meet somebody. This is Kaioh Michiru." She motions with her hand and an aqua-haired school-girl walks over to us, her head down. She is holding some kind of sketch pad in her hands, her fingers white from gripping it too tightly. She raises her head and I see her eyes for the first time. The girl from my dream! She's standing in front of me, looking like an ordinary person. Well, hardly ordinary, actually. She's gorgeous. Her hair is down to her shoulders, wavy as the tides. She has long fingers and strong hands. Her face is so serene, her blue eyes endless in their depth. She begins talking, but I don't hear, all I can concentrate on is her face. Winds rush about me, pulling me away to some new place. I see a quick glimpse of Tokyo, not red with blood, but as it is now. As it will be. As we can make it be. I see myself fighting monsters that have no form but are pure evil. This Michiru is there as well, though she looks as she does in my dreams. A monster comes at me, hurts me, and the city becomes red. Even if I defend my city, the redness, the blood, the Silence will still come. It is hopeless to fight. "The winds are stirring, don't you feel it?" The vision vanishes with the wind, leaving me gazing at Michiru once more. My heart is racing. The sweat I didn't feel on the track beads on my forehead. She knows who I am. She knows I am supposed to fight beside her. Why should I, though? My life is fine; I don't need the change this battle will bring. I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I don't want to lose what I have worked six years to achieve. "Strange girl," I say, slightly surprised that I could find my voice. "What do you want from me?" Her eyes are disappointed as she responds. She knows I will refuse her offer. "Would you model for one of my paintings?" Why did such a beautiful girl have to tempt me so? Ordinarily, if she were willing, I would ask her out, get to know her, but this girl is different. She comes with a past I cannot deny if I am to be with her, and I do not want to be a part of that past. I don't want her destiny. I have one of my own, of my choosing. I do not choose the broken city. "I'll pass. I don't like that kind of thing." I pick up my gym bag and walk away, ignoring the pain in my breast, one not caused by today's race. I can't believe I just turned down a date from the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. How could I do that? I can imagine what she looks like without that silly uniform. Firm muscles on her arms and legs from swimming, soft, round breasts, the smell of salt on her skin. I can almost taste her. She wouldn't have the marks of any childhood illness on her smooth body, though she has a small birthmark in the shape of a hand mirror on the inside of her right thigh. Her hair is silky, almost with a life of its own. Her stomach is flat, her hips wide, a perfect fit for mine. Her hands are uncallused and smooth, even after years of violin practice. Wait, how do I know that? How do I know that she plays violin like a master and beats everyone in the water? Have I learned more from that dream than I thought? I look back to where she and Elza were standing, but they are gone. Will I ever see her again? The dream is different now. Michiru (once again as the warrior) stands before me in the broken Tokyo, begging me to join her in the fight. She pleads, her eyes never leaving my face, as if looking at her will convince me. After a few minutes she rests her feet on the ground in front of me. Her glow has faded. She is losing power, I can feel it. She holds out her arms to me, beconing me into them. I take a step forward, swayed by her determination to have me. The ground flies up in between us, the cement of the street crumbling. Her expression is one fo horror. The typhoon destroys a building, and I get my last glimpse of her as the walls collapse onto the place she where was standing. She is dead. She died because I waited too long to join her. She died because I took a step forward. She died because of me. She died because of me. I wake up screaming. Every night I have this dream. Once, sometimes twice I have it. Always the same, never changing, ever since I saw her on that cruise. She asked me to join her, but I couldn't. I didn't have the courage to take her hand and ask her what I had to do to fight beside her, even though I was undressing her in my mind again, even though I couldn't think of anything but her as she played. Then there are the other dreams. The ones I don't want to stop. The blue gown slips off to reveal a white slip. She's not wearing a bra, she doesn't need one for this dress. She doesn't need panties either, though she is wearing elegant white lace ones. Her blood races from the concert, pulsing below her skin in hot waves. She reaches toward me and the clothing vanishes from my body. We are lying down, me on top, her on top. The bed shakes beneath us, our vibrations rocking the world. I've got to stop thinking of her. I have a big race today, and I won't let myself fail. Maybe -- maybe if I can just concentrate on this race I'll be ok. I'll think about her all night, I'll dream about sex with her, I'll imagine the perfect fit of our two bodies, the feel of her skin against mine. Just give me this one day, please. I haven't gone more than an hour without thinking about her. Every little thing reminds me of her. The color blue, a nice dress I think she would look good in. Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking about her, but I never wish hard enough. I don't really want to. I just want to be a normal girl so I wouldn't care about destiny, wouldn't care that the wind smells of danger today, that it warns me not to go into the garage. Someone needs help, though. I can't always listen to the wind. I wake to find myself in an unfamiliar room. A cool breeze blows over me from the open window, bringing in the scent of the sea. Where am I? The last thing I remember is pushing Michiru out of the way of an energy blast. Did she survive? She must have, I heard Neptune's voice as I passed out. I hope that violin she was playing is unharmed. I've only fought monsters three times since I have discovered my powers, including yesterday when I forgot to transform. It's so new to me, yet it feels familiar, as if I've fought like that many times before, beside Neptune. I reach up to tug at my hair and feel a bandage wrapped around my head. I sit up, leaning against the pillows as I look myself over for other injuries. None that I can see or feel. I'm still wearing my new Mugen Gakuen school uniform, so whoever is taking care of me must be a man. They are so squeamish about seeing each other without clothes sometimes. He probably thinks I'm just another guy. Well, I've no need to tell him otherwise. I feel almost better, my head only hurts a little, and I can't feel the traces of the energy blast that hit me as I dove for Michiru. The door opens to reveal Michiru carrying a small tray with a bowl and a towel on it. She smiles and looks away, not saying anything as she walks forward to set the tray down and sit beside me on the bed. She takes my head in her hands and examines the bandage with a critical eye, not meeting my gaze. I can feel her breath on my cheek. She's so close and I have the urge to grab her in my arms and kiss her with all my might. Those dreams meant something, I am sure. I want to see if she feels the same now as she does in my sleep. But she has put on her impersonal air, so like that of Neptune, that I quash down my urge and sit quietly waiting for her to finish. Silence streaches out between us. "I am glad you're o.k., Haruka," she says quietly. She wets the towel in the bowl of ice water and rings it out before pressing in to my forehead. "You have to be more careful. As Uranus you wouldn't have been hurt, and you would have been able to fight back." I can feel the heat of her leg against mine through the sheet. Surely those dreams mean something. I take the towel and toss it to the tray, trapping her hands in mine. In surprise, she meets my eyes. "Michiru, don't you feel the bond we share?" I demand, not giving her time to escape. She is like no woman I have ever known. She is the woman for me, the one I have been waiting for, though I didn't know it until now. All my life has been building towards meeting her. "We are partners to save this world." Her voice has no inflection. "Don't you feel the passion?" I whisper, not realizing those were the words I intended until they were spoken. She nods slightly, her eyes wide as she watches me. I lean forward and kiss her. It feels so right, more right than any other kiss I've shared. My lips were destined for hers. We fit together perfectly. Her body relaxes against mine, her lips soften. She opens her mouth to me. The kiss goes on, deeper. My arms are around her, her heart is ringing in my ears with every beat. I am in a palace, mist swirling around my feet. Michiru stands beside me, but she is called Neptune, and I am Uranus. The Earth hangs in the sky. This must be the Moon, but how did we get here? Where did our kiss go? The mist parts. "Ah, the Outer Senshi finally awaken," says a kind voice from behind us. We turn in union and face the silver-haired woman sitting on a throne. She smiles at us, her face full of wisdom and compassion. She is our Queen. "Queen Serenity," Neptune answers, kneeling to bow. I find myself kneeling to bow as well, my hand crossed over my heart, my head down. "It is an honor to serve you." "We have but little time here," replies the Queen. "You have awakened late, my friends. Evil has already infiltrated the solar system and infests the Earth and threatens my daughter. You must find the three Talismans that are locked in pure human hearts _at any cost_ to bring forth the Holy Grail, for only with it in the hands of the True Messiah can you prevent the Silence and the Dark Messiah from destroying our world. You are our last hope for salvation." She pauses, meeting each of our eyes in turn. I sense a third and fourth presence behind us, but she holds my gaze and keeps me from turning back. "Take care of each other in this life as you did in the last, my children. You have my blessing." The mist returns, enveloping us, obscuring the Queen and her Palace, and any others that might have been there. I hear Neptune shout a question, but she recieves no answer. Michiru squirms against me, breaking our kiss. She climbs off the bed and walks away with her arms crossed over her chest, leaving me with the imprint of her lips still on mine. She leans against the door frame, not looking at me. I scramble out from under the sheet and go to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She is shaking. She looks at me briefly before turning away again, wiping tears from her eyes. "Uranus, promise me something," she whispers. "No. I mean Haruka. I must ask you this. Promise me that if I get hurt, if I die, you'll continue on. You'll find the Talismans and put the Holy Grail into the hands of the Messiah for both of us." Now I am the one shaking. "N- Nothing is going to happen to you, Michiru. I'll protect you. I wouldn't let anything hurt you. I wouldn't let you die." She turns to face me suddenly, her eyes blazing with anger and concern. She grabs my hands, gripping them tightly as she speaks, her words falling over themselves in their haste to be spoken. "Haruka, you've got to promise me this! If something happens that you can't control or I can't get out of the way of...you've got to go on without me. You've got to leave me." The vehemence in her voice startles me, for she is usually soft-spoken and subtle. She continues to glare at me, waiting for my answer. She means what she is asking of me. She knows that I would never break a vow I make, and she won't let me go on without such a vow between us. "I have to know that you'll survive, Haruka. I couldn't die knowing the Talismans wouldn't be found, knowing the Silence would envelope our world. Knowing you were not safe." I search her face. How can she ask such a thing of me? She was the one who forced herself into my life, how dare she presume so much of me? She filled a void in me, though, an emptiness I didn't know was there until I met her. I must have done the same thing for her. "I promise, Michiru, if you will make me the same promise, that you will leave me to find the Talismans." "I will," she replies, turning from me again to face the door. The anger and tension drain from her and she sighs quietly. "I've already done this alone, remember? I can do it again." I don't believe her, not after that kiss, or her more recent display, but I don't think now is the time to argue. She speaks again. "What do we do now?" That sounds like an invitation to me. I come up behind her as she leans against the doorjamb and wrap my arms around her. She moves into me, her back against my chest and her head on my shoulder. I kiss her neck through her hair. She arches her back and turns her head to meet my lips with her own. Her skin is hot as I slip my hands under her shirt, stroking her smooth skin and carressing her breasts. She guides one of my hands to her waist, helping me find the buttons of her skirt. One by one the three buttons come undone. Her skirt slips to the floor. I run my hands up and down her leg, inticing a shiver from her. She moves even closer to me, and I find myself removing the rest of her clothes without any direction from me. This feels so right, the culmination of what we've been working towards, the beginning of a partnership that must and will last through anything. Queen Serenity gave us her blessing. This must be right. Michiru's naked body presses against mine. She turns to me, embracing me, her arms around my neck. I hold her close as I kiss her, a hand on her back, the other in her hair. We stand completely still for a moment, only our mouths moving as we kiss. She reaches for my shirt, her nimble fingers ready to play with the buttons. She stops. Her hands hover over, but do not touch me. She looks at me with eyes full of sadness and regret. "I can't do this, Haruka. I can't love you this way." She walks away to cover herself in a robe. She hands me my jacket. What went wrong? She was responding, so why did she stop? Why would she not want to continue? What did I do wrong? "Please leave now, Haruka." She is looking at me with the icy eyes of Sailor Neptune. Her words break my paralysis. "What did I do?" I demand, hearing anger and frustration in my voice, feeling the hot passion in my blood become something different. "Am I going too fast? Is it your first time? Please, tell me what I can do." With more forcefullness than I expect from her she pushes me out the front door, slamming it in my face. "What did I do, Michiru?" I repeat, pounding on the door. No answer, no movement on the other side. "What did I do?" Quieter now, desperate. Tears slide down my cheeks. I, who promised never to cry again when my parents died, now find myself sobbing in front of this mysterious girl's door. How can she do this to me? How can she make me feel emotions I haven't recognized in years? "Michiru, please let me back in." "Don't count on it, buddy." The voice behind me is rough from long use, as is the face it emanates from. A repairman, from the looks of his uniform. "Once they kick you out, they never let you back in. Women are like that. Remember that for the future, son." He walks away, his advise given. It has been nearly a month since I have seen Michiru. I see Neptune every night, or rather, Uranus sees Neptune every night, but it is not the same. Uranus and I are still separate people living in the same body, almost at war with each other sometimes. She is determined to get the Talismans, as her Queen ordered her, and she won't allow any hesitation on my part. She simply takes over. We do agree on one thing, however, that Michiru/Neptune is our partner. She is our partner, and it hurts greatly to see her turn and walk away after a battle, not a word spoken between us. The void within me has returned. I remember what it was like those first few days with Michiru, following her flashes of intuition wherever they lead us. We have stoped doing that, though I can tell there are other places we should be sometimes. She is the one with the visions, though. All I get is a vague sense of uneasiness at being in the wrong place. Now I know I am empty, that she could take my loneliness if she only opened up to me. I can feel the distance that shouldn't exist growing between us, sapping our strength. I miss her so much. I can't concentrate on anything, and the dreams have returned with a vengence, vying with the visions of destruction for time in my sleeping mind. I must convince her to come back to me. We need to be together, even Uranus will admit to that from where she watches in the back of my head. When will I see her, though? She has been avoiding me, leaving a place just before I get there, as if she can sense me the way I can feel where she is. Perhaps I should confront her when we are in our soldier forms? Neptune can run, but she is no match for either me or Uranus. For that plan to work, however, I will need to enlist Uranus' aid. We must become one person if we are to win our suit for that distant lady's affections. I sit in my room on the floor in a patch of sunlight, the wind whispering courage from my window. I ran for so long. I can't run anymore, not now hat I have found a purpose, now that I have found someone to love. I'm so tired, but I must fulfill my destiny, as Michiru said. My destiny lies with her now. I close my eyes and hold my transformation pen. I imagine the mist of the Moon, the feel of the Palace stones beneath my feel, the Queen's throne before me. "What brings you here, Uranus?" the Queen asks. I turn and bow as I did before, raising my head to meet her gaze. "Wait, you are not Uranus. Who are you? Answer quickly, the guards are on their way." "This unworthy person who has come before Your Majesty is humbly called Tenoh Haruka. I am the human incarnation of the Princess of Uranus. If it were offered, you help would greatly be appreciated by one so worthless as me, on whom your precious time should not be wasted." The formal words slip off my tounge easily, even though I had never been good at remembering them in class. "You came alone?" I nod. "Where is Neptune, or her new incarnation?" "That question which ypu have asked is the reason I have made the journey to see you. Neptune has awakened me to our battle, but she has rejected our partnership. She does not understand that our powers and effectiveness as soldiers depend on the smoothness of our human relationship." I'm not quite sure where that last sentance came from, but it got the Queen's attention. She rises from her seat and walks up to me. "She is not your lover? That is a problem. I have been giving you both dreams to encourage you, but I didn't consider that they might inhibit her. As you just mentioned, your partnership is such that if there is any friction between you, any tension, your powers will decrease. Do you have a plan to win her favors? I can do little from the past that you cannot surpass, living in the same time with her as you do." "I need to see how Uranus and Neptune were in their previous lives. I need to see them fighting, loving, interacting with each other. Uranus must become a part of me if we are to convince Neptune that she truly needs us." The Queen considers my words for a moment. "Come with me." She leads me down the gray hallways, stopping before a window. Uranus and Neptune lay talking at the top of a grassy, flower-dotted hill, their voices murmers on the wind. "Stay as long as you like. Time will not pass for you. If you wish to speak with Uranus, call her over, she will recognize you." The Queen walks away with a swirl of white skirts, leaving me alone with my alter-ego and her lover. Danger in the park, I can feel it. Michiru's voice comes to me, distorted as she shouts over the communicator. "Haruka, the park -" Her transmission ends in a scream. I pull a quick U-turn and speed towards the park, ignoring the screeching tires and honking horns behind me. As I enter the park my eyes are drawn to Michiru, or is that Neptune, struggling to get up from the ground. A monster menaces a couple, advancing on them as they back against a tree. The man attempts to defend his girlfriend, but the monster tosses him aside like a doll. I shout my words of power and feel the golden light envelop me as I become Sailor Uranus. Neptune has made it to her knees. I circle her on my motorcycle and grab her into my arms, not losing sight of the monster and its fleeing victim. This monster feels different that the others we have fought. It has the aura of evil, but I hear no trapped human trying to escape the monster's control. A vision of the Talismans as bright stars briefly apears in my sight. The monster extracs a glowing crystal from the running girl's back. That must be the Talisman. We have to get it. With Neptune safely behind me I jerk the bike into the air, flying for a moment before landing on the monster's back, crushing it to the ground. I slide the bike to a hault and face the monster, raising my hand. "World Shaking!" All my anger and frustration of the past month empower my attack as it races toward the monster, brighter than yesterday's attack. The amber globe hits the monster. Its body spasms and the ground opens behind it. A rice bowl and chopsticks ramain where the monster just stood. A seed falls out of the bowl, cracking down the middle to reveal a dark spirit that flies away into the sky. It disappears into the atmosphere with a sinister laugh. I dash to the crystal, but it isn't the Talisman. I would know instantly if it were. I return it to the girl's body and walk back to the bike where Neptune still sits. I climb onto the bike, preparing to leave. "It wasn't the Talisman," I report, "But now we know what to look for." "The monster's gone," Neptune says with a sigh from behind me. "I couldn't handle it on my own." She leans her head against my back. "You're not supposed to handle it on your own!" I retort, almost snarling. "We're partners, or at least we should be. We need to fight together." Her head pops up. "We do fight together." She is responding to my anger. At least it is a response. I sink back onto the bike and close my eyes. The brush of flower petals against my skin tells me I am once again Haruka. If not for that indicator, I don't think I would have noticed. "If we fight together, where was I just now? Why wasn't I here to transform with you, or distract the monster, or protect you? We can't find the Talismans like this, if we never talk or even see each other." "I don't know how to continue. I never expected this." She wraps her arms around my middle and leans against me. I can feel tears through my shirt. "I never wanted the dreams. I've never had dreams like those before I met you. They're like the visions, only worse, because I want them to happen. I just don't know how I can live like this." She falls silent. Her words drive home the decision I made a long time ago. "That settles it, Michiru. We're going to have a long talk, and we're going to have sex. I won't let you kick me out this time." I gun the motor and take off down the street before she has a chance to get off the motorcycle. What could she be worried about, that she can't be a warrior? She's shown me time and time again that she can. Does she think I'll tease her about sex? I wouldn't do that, and she knows it. I think I startled myself more than her just now when I mentioned it. Is she worried that I have more experience than her, or that she has never been with a woman before? It's something to do with sex, that much I can figure out. "Michiru," I hazard, forcing the wind to work in my favor and not steal my words before they reach her, "If we sleep together, will you be able to keep that promise we made each other?" "No." Her voice is a whisper, but the wind brings it to me. The one word is enough. I understand her pain, I know why she ran. I wouldn't leave her behind, even now, when we have not yet slept together. how much harder it would be after. Still, sex is not as important as having her beside me. I slow the bike. "What are you doing?" "We can be partners without sex, if you need it to be that way. We'll figure something out." "But that wouldn't work, and you know it!" She pauses. "I guess you do know it. I knew we'd get there eventually, but I never thought it would be so soon. We've only known each other for a few days. "And a lifetime," I reply. "Queen Serenity showed me how we were before the battle, before we went to sleep." "We were both running, weren't we, Haruka? Maybe we should stop for a bit." I cut the motor and we glide to a stop on a small residentail street. I pull off my helmet and turn to her. Our lips meet in a kiss more passionate than the previous one. Her eagerness matches mine. Slowly we part to look into each others eyes. She bats her eyelashes at me and smiles. "So, your place, or mine?" -------------------- ^_- Ilana Tavan Smith College (USA) Doshisha University (Japan) itavan@sophia.smith.edu lv6736@mail2.doshisha.ac.jp http://www.smith.edu/~itavan/ (...~itavan/HMopinion.html/ for the Uranus/Neptune Shrine) (...~itavan/fanfic.html/ for my fanfiction)